An interesting thing happened this morning. After completing the meditation and Japa sessions with my clients online we discussed over achieving goals and yet not being stressed about the outcomes of our efforts. A healthy discussion ensued, many different ideas were shared and learnt.
Just a few minutes later a friend posted a topic to be discussed in a Whatsapp learning group where lot of intellectual ideas are shared with an open mind. The topic was 'Attachment v/s Connection'.
The article below was my response to the topic and as I wrote and read other responses, I strongly felt the need of penning down something about it to my blog as well. So here goes.
Attachment is weakness, attachment is possessiveness, it is the thought that you will be able to possess something forever and therefore control it the way you want. It is the feeling that without that 'something' you are incomplete. This applies to relationships, work, identity, assets even age and health which in reality are all non permanent and with time they will cease to exist, because that's the way nature works, in cycles. Pure attachment therefore can only bring emptiness and disappointment.
Even in the brief moments of so called happiness it has an underlying lurking feeling of losing that happiness... uncertainty of the future.
Being connected is very different because you are detached but at the same time available fully for your relations, for your work, for yourself without a care what the future brings because you exist in the NOW.
Under the garb of love and care sometimes attachment harbors trouble in relations (seen
mostly in parenting), it brings greed and inability to not let go.
But one has to practice consciously to be connected and not get attached. This comes through meditation and being constantly aware. It comes with the understanding that my happiness cannot depend on any other entity like asset, relation, position, money, fame etc.
It comes with the realization of Sat Chit Anand i.e, Happiness you are and cannot be sought outside.
Its easy to sometimes misunderstand detachment as 'having No expectations'. One needs to understand this difference.
We can look at the nature around us to see some wonderful examples of detachment.
Animals don't exert control and expect of their mates or offspring. In fact the best example that comes to mind is
Nothing grows under the Banyan tree.
Also for a man, the degree of expectations are different for different spheres of life and also the degree of pain it could bring.
Detachment doesn't mean 'Not Expecting'. Expectation is natural for work and relations.
Detachment simply means do your best and leave the 'affinity of fine tuning the outcome to your choice'.
Many different forces of nature are in play for something to work right, so one should learn to let go of after the best one could do.
As Bhagvad Gita Chapter 2 verse 47 puts it
"Karmanye vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana, Ma Karma Phala Hetur Bhur Ma Te Sango Stv Akarmani"
which means You have every right to work but not expecting the fruits of it. Let the focus be not on the fruits and always pursue your goals actively.
Detachment is freedom and it can only come out of love and trust in Almighty...in the truest sense.
The difference between being detached and having no expectations is too subtle. An ordinary approach and plain logic can find it difficult to understand it. The realization comes only when meditated over it silently.